if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
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halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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