There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
