Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
