i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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