come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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