So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
