i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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