well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
