The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
