First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
do nipples grow back?
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