just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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