Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
