I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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