He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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