So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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