Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.

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  (510): answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/6rsg
  Replies (6) Good night (1450) Bad night (5408)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together

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  (480): I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together http://tfl.nu/zzdp
  Replies (50) Good night (3679) Bad night (5470)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.

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  (703): Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk. http://tfl.nu/el36
  Replies (12) Good night (6781) Bad night (1289)
• Favorite

  (971): View more from Oregon

  Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.

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  (971): Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin. http://tfl.nu/6hx6
  Replies (6) Good night (2224) Bad night (1661)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety

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  (715): He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety http://tfl.nu/vghu
  Replies (4) Good night (2100) Bad night (1026)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.

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  (509): Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life. http://tfl.nu/zh07
  Replies (6) Good night (1547) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (478): View more from Georgia

  this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.

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  (478): this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this. http://tfl.nu/syfp
  Replies (8) Good night (1316) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (518): View more from New York

  You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.

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  (518): You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come. http://tfl.nu/a590
  Replies (17) Good night (2502) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever

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  (508): holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever http://tfl.nu/v6ie
  Replies (12) Good night (1414) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other

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  (703): Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other http://tfl.nu/yr17
  Replies (1) Good night (1340) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (250): View more from British Columbia

  Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.

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  (250): Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles. http://tfl.nu/jjec
  Replies (6) Good night (1445) Bad night (530)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.

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  (408): We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell. http://tfl.nu/gwk2
  Replies (6) Good night (1301) Bad night (375)
• Favorite

  (352): View more from Florida

  Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.

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  (352): Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life. http://tfl.nu/37e0
  Replies (1) Good night (779) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I don't even want to know.

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  (815): Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it. (312): I don't even want to know. http://tfl.nu/t388
  Replies (1) Good night (282) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.

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  (760): I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris. http://tfl.nu/t6ww
  Replies (4) Good night (422) Bad night (166)

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