Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
17 People Reveal The Reasons Behind Their Foot Fetish
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.