Texts From Last Night

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  (352): View more from Florida

  I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.

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  (352): I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about. http://tfl.nu/yxic
  Replies (19) Good night (3958) Bad night (725)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.

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  (573): shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls. http://tfl.nu/v89m
  Replies (38) Good night (1617) Bad night (4052)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.

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  (269): After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever. http://tfl.nu/nvrl
  Replies (19) Good night (750) Bad night (6562)
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  (627): View more from California

  his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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  (627): his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting. http://tfl.nu/tvd6
  Replies (46) Good night (1163) Bad night (4331)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.

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  (224): The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal. http://tfl.nu/xpa1
  Replies (23) Good night (667) Bad night (4355)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.

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  (334): Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions. http://tfl.nu/wk8c
  Replies (1) Good night (1273) Bad night (648)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with

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  (208): My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with http://tfl.nu/1h68
  Replies (5) Good night (1609) Bad night (642)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy

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  (519): Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy http://tfl.nu/gpr6
  Replies (6) Good night (513) Bad night (1196)
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  (714): View more from California

  todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.

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  (714): todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera. http://tfl.nu/lq8k
  Replies (3) Good night (994) Bad night (375)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night

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  (301): Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night http://tfl.nu/cuhc
  Replies (2) Good night (1273) Bad night (379)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

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  (218): Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life. http://tfl.nu/7bi7
  Replies (6) Good night (408) Bad night (1625)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger

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  (+61): The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger http://tfl.nu/x8sq
  Replies (4) Good night (518) Bad night (1075)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.

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  (814): BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team. http://tfl.nu/tfzh
  Replies (2) Good night (1429) Bad night (481)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.

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  (214): Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done. http://tfl.nu/4t9f
  Replies (4) Good night (989) Bad night (494)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face

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  (407): Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face http://tfl.nu/1rfc
  Replies (1) Good night (373) Bad night (539)

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