My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with