Sry I called you an 8
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
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