Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
