any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
