You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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