don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
