i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
