Need sex. Gaining weight.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
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