i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
