Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
