So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
