Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
