he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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