I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
