we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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