worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize