Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
