Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
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