You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i believe in u and ur pee
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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