he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I need to calm my uterus...
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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