just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
