I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
