I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.