remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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