what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
