why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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