This dress was meant to end up on your floor
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
