Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
