I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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