Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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