worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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