Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
