Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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