i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
