well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
