I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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