My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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