dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
