I want to stick my p in your. b.
People in love make me want to vomit
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
