Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
