made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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