Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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