So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
no you cant smoke seaweed
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
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I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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