i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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