I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
