Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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